The truth comes out, well, again...

Alright, I confess. I am a very observant person, in most cases. I have been so since I started trying to learn survival. I have tried to pick up every tiny noise that I hear, identify it, and whatever that leads to. I also try and do the same with the rest of my five sense. (No, I will not name them.) And so Tuesday night I went out on the town with some of my siblings. Fun peoples, never a dull moment. And so we go to Chick-fil-a, oh heaven in a man made form, well, as close as it seems to get. And it was fairly packed for the most part, several workers rushing to and fro as we come and go. So after my brother so kindly provided our meal we set off on our second destination, shopping. And as we are sitting there, my brother who is also providing our transportation--such talent-- more or less turns around, and asks:
"So, on a scale of one to ten, what was the girl that did your order?" He asked.
I kind of stopped, I smiled not sure whether I was surprised wondering how to answer this in my careful way.
"Uh, I'm not really sure." I replied.
You see, of course as every guy if I see a girl I have an opinion, but usually, I don't share mine. Well, let me rephrase, I don't usually share mine about girls, it's just not me. (So this is a treat for my readers, I am sharing with you.)
"Oh come on! I know you, you were looking!" He said in much disbelief.
This for me was uncomfortable ground, it was as if he was implying that I go around saying;
"Five, oh that is an eight, eh, six, whoa hello there eleven!"
No, that's not how I role, I have a different standard of... I guess you could call it rating. It is so seriously odd to say, or type. (Once again, I am not sharing my whatever you wish to call it.)
"Who ever said that I was *looking?*" I asked.
"Spank, we are men, men are hunters, of course you were looking." He answered.
(Spank, along with Spanky is among my many nicknames. If you wish I will get into those in another post, just comment me..*hint.*)
"I'd say, about an eight, maybe a nine." I said finally giving in.
Well, yes I'd say that she was at that level. You see I have this strange thing with me, I find it easy to straight up tell a girl that I think that she is hot, versus telling my family that I think so. No, I did not say that to the girl, wouldn't it be super creepy if I did?
"Yeah, I would agree with that." He replied.
And so we go on, each of my brothers--except my younger brother who refused to participate...can't say that I blame him-- rating our servers, or whatever the formal label for them is. And then the conversation goes on, and they ask which of the Disney channel stars we think is the most attractive--Yes, I watch Disney, and I LOVE it--so I say Selena Gomez. My opinion. I find the majority of the rest just plain annoying. Honestly, I don't like telling my opinions of women unless I am talking to the girl in question, so enjoy this because I am acquiring a major case of the butterflies. And then we go on to other shows; Doctor Who. My brother says that he gives Martha Jones at least a ten. We all agree very much so. That was pretty much all that was to that conversation really, we went on but that's the jist of it.
So I am thinking, since I am done telling of my night last Tuesday. Of course I find several people attractive, but what would lead me to have a crush on them? Of course I have my preferences on personalities and morals. And what could they possibly find in me that they might like? Now seeing as most of you don't know me you cannot argue, but I am not a whole bundle of glorious human, I'm not a model (Not professionally.) I debate my musical abilities. All I got going for me is...well...me. So apparently as my sisters have told me. My strong, well, personally strong sense of sarcasm could turn a girl off, I believe that. I am very sarcastic, but for the most part, if I do not see the sarcasm in someone else's joke, it may offend me. And it comes to an unfortunate double standard. I honestly hate that. I over the years have tried to be as honest as possible, I used to be...let's just say...kinda a con-artist, in my own odd way. If I wanted to I could get away with most anything, but I didn't. Guilt usually gripped me so I confessed. So if I am asked a question I will answer it truthfully, or I will give such an indirect answer it seems irrelevant to the question, but it's not usually.
So the honestly bleeds out as I tell me readers, I have honestly no clue what it is that develops one of my crushes on someone. Perhaps their personality, or just the way they talk. I am not even sure anymore a crush is, if I had to answer though of who I do have a crush on. I would answer:
"I do not know them, I have seen one in real life, and the other one I just have seen videos of. So I honestly cannot tell you."
I lately have been asked questions along the lines of: "Have you ever loved someone."
Well let me just tell you, the word 'love,' is a dangerous and calming word. It is beautiful and hurtful, not always at the same time. Because of this I use that word with so much caution. I love my family, but outside of that. I have never loved anyone except in like another sibling. I have never found such interest in someone that I loved them. If I decided that someone that I had a crushed on, I loved, after awhile it would be true. Through thinking it so much I would believe it, and being the fact that I have never talked to the person I have a crush on right now, chances are I would be crushed. Crushes indeed do crush sometimes. I have this terrible habit of flirting with girls when I talk to them, I don't even try to, it is just my personality. And I lead them down a road that I have no clue they are following, and perhaps have no interest in.

So I guess this is it. With the best advice my "lack experience and ignorant" years can provide.
Be careful of what you say to people, try not to lead them on. Because it might end up badly.

Thanks for reading...

Jack,